Hello – my apology to the crawdad
Apr0
the bees :: (this is for the) better days
i think i was eight years old or maybe ten, tops. i had one of those pneumatic daisy bb handguns. it was awfully inaccurate at any distance over five feet. myself and at least one friend were down in the creek behind my childhood home and we found a crawdad. some people call it a crayfish.
in some ways the section of creek directly behind our home was an idyllic place for a kid to play in the middle of suburbia. there had been a road that went over the creek long ago and one of the cement retaining walls had fallen and succumbed to the water. portions that remained were perennially home to crawdad’s large and small. plenty of others hid in the thin clay that broke away from the banks six feet down from the weeping willows growing above.
i spotted the large crawdad in some shallow water. in a stroke of remarkable luck my daisy handgun lodged a shiny copper bb square in the middle of it’s head (cephalon). i shot it from less than a foot away. but now for the barbaric part. we tied the crawdad to a weeping willow branch with string and as it’s body twitched we each peed on it.
i didn’t feel any remorse for what i did. i didn’t fully comprehend that i was taking a life. if the crawdad’s demise had served a purpose it would make me feel better about what i did. i had a naive concept of death. compassion for all living beings is something that would come with age but that day i was just “a kid being a kid”.
it bothers me now. it’s not something that i dwell on. i haven’t thought of this episode for many years. the peculiar resurfacing of this memory is partly why i chose to share it. and as much as i like to wear out a story i bet i haven’t told this story to many friends or family. on the spectrum of good and bad things it’s not the most horrible thing to do. but i can’t see how i could explain my actions as a good thing.
i hope you have a great day. take care.
<(((O
Hello – happy holidays
Dec0
the postal service :: such great heights
my very best wishes for you and yours for the holiday and for the new year!
take care. bee (and the hive)
Hello – bag of water life
Nov0
lattie moore :: i’m not broke but i’m badly bent
(8:50:52 AM) chrysanthalbee: morning bag of water
(8:51:06 AM) justron: bag of water?
(8:51:30 AM) chrysanthalbee: yeah tentative beebox topic or at least title
(8:51:51 AM) chrysanthalbee: we’re mostly just a bag of water
(8:51:55 AM) justron: I found a bag of water in my garage on friday
(8:52:05 AM) chrysanthalbee: interesting
(8:52:07 AM) chrysanthalbee: coinky
(8:52:22 AM) justron: I smashed it, but it didn’t break, so I stomped it and my left leg got very wet
it’s not always easy living as a speck of flesh retaining water on a speck of dirt whirling in a universe so vast. but recognizing our insignificance in the grand scheme of things can bring significance to our daily life.
yesterday this bag of water witnessed the grandeur of life in the 20 minutes it took to bike to work. there was a heavy fog and the sun was breaking through for the first time in days. everywhere i looked was a masterpiece. it’s something i would have loved to share with you.
oftentimes the drama of life is between enjoying life and doing what you “have” to do. appreciating what you “have” to do is a bonus. because what part of life isn’t simply living?
from one bag of water to another i wish you a great day. take care.
bee
Hello – childhood socialism
Nov1
not too long ago my son’s kindergarten class won a pizza party. there was some kind of “pig race” with little plastic pigs and their teacher’s pig won. after the race they went back to their classroom and the teacher had them take a vote. there are two kindergarten classes in the school and she asked them if they wanted to split the pizza party with the other class. his teacher said it was unanimous and they wanted to share.
this story about 5 and 6 year olds bolsters my belief in the intrinsic goodness of humans. i am still shocked that there wasn’t a single dissenter in the group but i think they all knew it would be a bigger party and more fun if they shared. they would each get one slice of pizza instead of two but they wanted everyone to share in the fun.
i’m only shocked that the result wasn’t different because it seems that all too quickly this tendency to be kind to one another disappears. selfishness and greed are born of petty differences, jealousy and hate. in the end all people are hurt some time. some people push others down to get ahead. some people let their sadness out through anger. some people have been hurt so bad all they see in life is pain. some people simply let the pains rule their life and excuse their malice as something that was caused by others.
now don’t take this as anything political. it isn’t. i use socialism in the most general sense. think of it more as people centric. i would just ask you to be kind to one another and the child in all of us that deserves to be happy.
take care and have a great weekend. <(((O